2010年5月9日星期日

1 o'clock in the moring

Hello, world

What should I do next? Even though you know the past of them, you have no power to change them. So think it in another way, they cannot change what we had either.

One thing, then another. But where should I be? To be a boy is easy, according to "Ms. Pamphlet". Just do your job hard, and eventually you will get all you want anyway. But why do I keep doing things meaningless, or keep asking myself what should I do as myself? I really have no idea where I am, who I am, etc. I cannot find myself in this biggest city in the world. I have nobody to rely on, no friends here, even no ambition in my heart.

Maybe I just should do sth with others, or push myself to do it. I do not have troubles communicating with others, but I cannot find any pleasure while I am talking with others. So I see, here is the problem.

Watching FRIENDS is just a pathetic way to escape from the real life, I finally realized. So is eating and cooking food. I wish I could forget all of the craps which I couldn't and keep bothers me. But there are beautiful memories on the other side. And, here is what I should do next.

So I see, I really know everything, but I just cannot do them.

This is a blog. But in my opinion, this place is just a diary book for me. No ones gonna see these. I just write this for myself, to memories what I thought right now because not like notebooks, this blog will never be full, and I cannot stick to writing things on the same notebook.

This is a really weird place. Oh wait a minute... maybe I am weird.

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随想

又挺久没有写东西了。一直在忙着找工作,一遍一遍的抱有希望,到onsite,结果一遍一遍被拒绝。 不知道是真的经济差还是自己能力差,这半年以来已经一遍一遍的自我怀疑,再自我安慰。 心里状况可能跟上次写东西以来也没什么变化,唯一的变化就是对失败的麻木和心态的平和吧。 一边一边的跟自己...